


Long Distance Moirailship

by Halest0rm3



Category: Homestuck
Genre: And Vriska and John talk on pesterchum a lot, Basically everyones back home, Because they live on different planets, F/M, Long-Distance Relationship, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, just a cute one shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 05:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2098224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halest0rm3/pseuds/Halest0rm3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one in which everyone is back home, kanaya attempts to find Vriska a flushed partner, theres a rebellion against her imperial grubsack, and Vriska and John continue a long distance moirailship without really calling it a moirailship because everyone knows those never work out. This is just a short one shot that came in my head to day so I decided to write it</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Distance Moirailship

grimAuxiliatrix starts trolling ArachnidsGrip  
GA: Hello Vriska.  
GA: I Simply Wished To Inquire As To How Your Date With Mr. Romain Went.  
GA: Am I Going To Have To Give Him The Moirail Talk?  
AG: Ughh!!!!!!!!  
AG: Don't even talk to me a8out it  
GA: That Bad?  
AG: It went worse than the h8ted8te I went on with Eridan so that he would finally stop 8othering me a8out it  
GA: If I Recall Correctly That Date Ended With You Pushing Mr Ampora Into The Path Of A Muscleshark Because He Tried To Quadrantflip To Flush After You Wouldnt Hatesnog Him.  
GA: And Then Having To Man A Whole Ship By Yourself Because In A Fit Of Anger You Mindcontrolled All Of His Sailors And Forced Them To Walk The Plank.  
GA: And Then Being Arrested By Several Highbloods Upon Making It Back To Shore Because Someone Tipped Them Off That It Was You That Had Pretended To Be A Servant Of Her Imperial Condecension In Order To Steal A Class A Thunderbird From The Imperial Flight Hangar.  
AG: Commandeer Kanaya  
AG: The correct term is commandeer a Class A Thunder8ird with every intention of 8ringing it 8ack.  
AG: Piece of shit pl8ne almost got me killed in the middle of outer sp8ce  
GA: Im Sure That Whoever Designed The Plane Did Not Expect Someone To Singlehandedly Drive A Two Person Fighter Jet Without The Automatic Stabilizing And Safety Drivers Through An Asteroid Field.  
AG: Yea that was some good flying  
AG: I should do that again sometime ::::)  
GA: Or You Could Keep In Mind That You Are Conversing With Your Mmoirail Who Is Somewhat Concerned As To The Possibility Of You Freezing To Death In The Outskirts Of Space Because You Crashed Into An Asteroid And Wrecked Your Ship.  
AG: Pshh whatever Fussyfangs!  
AG: Anyway I just want to forget all about whats his f8ce.  
GA: If You Dont Mind My Inquiry What Was So Bad About Mr Romain That You React With Such Disdain To The Possibility Of A Flushed Relationship With Him?  
GA: From What I Here Hes Ambitious To A Fault, Short Tempered, Violent, And Extremely Cunning.  
GA: Not Qualities That Normally Make A Red Suitor Appealing To One But I Would Say They Match Your Sensibilities Perfectly.  
GA: Not To Mention That He Has A Reputation For Being A Fearless And Daring Rebel Commander Having Been Promoted To His Post After Singlehandedly Infiltrating An Imperial Vessel And Garnering The Surrender Of The Entire Crew With A Completely Fabricated Bluff Of Explosives.  
GA: In Short He Seems Like A Perfect Match For Your Red Quadrant.  
AG: Jegus Kanaya if you like him so much why don't you go date him?  
AG: And stop 8othering me about it!!!!!!!!  
GA: Sorry If I Made You Feel Uncomfortable Vriska.  
GA: I Did Not Mean To Force You To Talk About Something About Something You Were Disinclined To Dwell Over.  
GA: Which Doesnt Excuse You From Snapping At Me If You Must Know I Am Rather Hurt By It.  
GA: It Doesn’t Help That This Isnt The First Time You Have Lost Patience With Me.  
GA: I Am Your Moirail Am I Not? Is It Not My Duty To Ascertain What Is Going On In Your Life As Well As Provide Assistance With Any Unresolved Quadrants?  
AG: Ughh yea whatever...  
AG: Im sorry I guess or something  
GA: That Apology Will Suffice.   
GA: We Do Not Have To Converse About Mr. Romain If That Topic Is Particularly Sensitive Or Uncomfortable.  
AG: The d8te wasn't thaaaaaaaat bad  
AG: He just isn't nearly awesome enough for me   
AG: Like yeah his ship is pretty cool and he's handsome enough and he's fighting in the rebel army against her imperial bitch and he's a 8lue8lood like me...  
GA: But?  
AG: Buuuuuuuut he has no taste in good movies at all!!  
AG: He doesn't even know who Nicolas Cage is!  
GA: Vriska Are You Being Serious?  
GA: Allow Me A Moment To Compose An Argument That Will Convey Just How Trivial And Nonsensical That Complaint Sounded.  
GA: There Is No Troll Nicolas Cage!  
GA: See This You Are Making Me Use The Exclamation Point Character For Added Emphasis Because Apparently You Dont Seem To Get The Point I Keep Trying To Make Come Across.  
GA: Nicolas Cage Is A Human Actor.  
GA: There Is No Equivalent Troll Nicolas Cage.  
GA: There Are Exactly Twelve Trolls In This Universe Who Have Heard Of Nicolas Cage And Exactly Three Who Have Seen A Cinematic Film In Which Said Actor Played A Part.   
AG: Well yea I guess........  
AG: 8ut he doesn't watch movies at all!  
AG: What if I want to snuggle with him all night long in front of the gru88ox?  
AG: He says the only movie he's ever liked is “the one in which an ambitious and feared female heroine meets up with a dorky young magician and reluctantly falls into love only to have to choose between glory and love. Staring one love triangle, three dilemmas, troll Selina Kyle, 7 evil demonic creatures, one seminude flushed sex scene, disturbing mentions of pale infidelity, several triggering scenes of quadrant vacillation and a rather obscure and unrelated pineapple.   
GA: I Was Under The Impression That That Was Also Coincidentally Your Favorite Movie Barring Any Movies With Nicolas Cage Of Course.  
GA: Perhaps I Am Mistaken?  
AG: Used to 8e my favorite movie!!  
AG: Its unrealistic. The chick leaves 8ehind the dorky magician and goes off to fight the demons out of a sense of duty to her emperor.  
AG: But that's not the right reason!! Duty is just stupid, what had her emperor ever done for her?  
AG: Her reason should have 8een to 8e as 8adass as possi8le of course ::::)  
AG: And to protect the dorky magician!!  
AG: The magician was the one the demons were after, not her  
AG: And then during the final battle scene........  
AG: She lets the demon king kill the magician, just leaves him wide out in the open injured and paralyzed, so that she can sta8 the demon king in the 8ack.  
AG: She was 8eing a coward!!!!!!!!  
AG: Should've faced him head on, like a warrior, to protect her friends   
GA: I Suppose That Makes Sense.  
GA: …  
GA: Now Im Placing Three Periods Together To Indicate A Pause Meant To Increase Dramatic Suspense Or Convey Puzzled Confusion.  
GA: It Seems Your Bad Habits Are Rubbing Off On Me.  
AG: ::::)  
AG: Anyway have to go!!   
AG: I thought of THE BEST prank to pull on Equius 8ut I have to hurry 8efore he gets 8ack from Nepeta's  
AG: Haha that idiots gonna need soooooooo many towels after he finds out what I'm doing to his hive  
AG: Aaaaaaaall the towels ::::)  
AG: Pity you Fussyfangs   
GA: Pity You More Vriska   
ArachnidsGrip ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix  
GA: ...  
GA: I Do So Wish You Would Get Over Him Though

ArachnidsGrip  starts trolling  ectoBiologist  
AG: Hey Egdork ::::)  
EB: Hey Vriska!!!  
EB: You haven't messaged me in a while :(  
AG: Aww were you missing me????????  
AG: Don't worry you'll always have this awesome 8adass pirate to keep you company  
EB: Haha sweet!!  
EB: Who else can I watch Nick Cage movies with?  
EB: Jade's already threatened to bake all my movies into a giant cake if I force her to watch Face/Off again.  
AG: WHAT?? That little despicable culturally8ackward piece of-  
EB: Vriska!!  
AG: lovely adorable sister you have!! I wasn't going to say anything 8aaaaaaaad about her ::::)  
EB: Sure you weren't :)  
AG: Face/Off was such a good movie tho!  
EB: I know!!  
EB: The standoff at the end between castor and archer?!  
AG: And Sasha taking that bullet-  
EB: And then making Archer promise to take care of her son!!  
EB: Such a great movie.  
AG: Such a gr8t movie!  
EB: Anyway whats been going on with you?  
AG: Oh s8me old s8me old... Re8ellions still going on and they're paying me some good money to take down those imperial ships. I got enough dough to overhaul my ship, gold plating, grub-operated ballistic cannons, the whole 8 yards.  
AG: Shouty McNubbs is basically public enemy number one to Her Imperial Grubsucker which is totally unfair because all he's been doing is talking about peace and equality, holding hands singing kumbaya all that preacher sufferer shit and I've been working my horns off actually fighting battles, infiltrating bases, and crap. Whatever, if she wants to ignore me then its going to be my web that traps her in the end ::::)  
AG: Sollux is still a piece of shit, Terezi's working as a double agent in The Cruellest Bars which is basically like a group of all the top legislacerators or whatever, and Gamzee's working as a double agent in The Mirthful Church  
EB: Thats the group with all the clowns right?  
AG: Yea they're a bunch of crazy clown psychopaths who worship faygo but apparently Gamzee keeps in touch with Mcnubbs and passes on information to the rebellion.  
AG: What else? That's all boring rebellion crap...  
EB: I like hearing about it  
AG: Yea whatever. Oh I pulled off Mission Slime The Sweathead!!  
EB: NO???  
AG: YES!  
EB: NO???  
AG: YEA!!!!!!!!  
AG: And you thought I couldn't pull it off ::::)  
AG: You said the prank was too difficult for a beginning prankster.  
AG: The student has 8ecome the master  
EB: You have done well grasshopper  
AG: Who you calling a grasshopper????????  
EB: Go forth now and bestow your pranking skills on everybody  
AG: Thank you master I will uphold the sacred law of the prankster  
AG: You should've seen his f8ce though!!!   
AG: I've literally never seen him sweat that much  
EB: Oh man I bet!! That prank was genius though how'd you come up with it ?  
AG: I am simply brilliant my dear Egdork  
AG: Haven't you noticed?  
EB: Only like 888 times since I met you  
AG: …  
AG: Awwwwwwww  
EB: So are we watching a movie today?  
AG: Yea I got a good one. The one in which a temperamental maroonblood and a gentle tealblood find what they believe to be a dragon egg in the forest and endevour to hatch it. Includes a flying blue cat, several magician guilds fighting for dominance, pale-flushed vascillation, unrequitted flushed feelings, and ashen interference from a scarletblood mutant named Erza  
arachnidsGrip sends file(movie.mp8)to ectoBiologist  
EB: Okay on the count of three press play  
AG: Count of three????????  
EB: Okay count of eight  
AG: Much better!  
AG: 1  
EB: 2  
AG: 3  
EB: 4   
AG: 5  
EB: 6  
AG: 7  
EB: 8  
AG: 8  
AG: (damn it you got to s8y 8 first that's my number!!)  
EB: (hehe)


End file.
